Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
