I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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