After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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