Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
