i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
