I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
