I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
