Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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