Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
