I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
