I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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