I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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