So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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