i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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