the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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