The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
