Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
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