She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
