I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
