So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sorry about my life...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
