i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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