TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize