somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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