So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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