i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
