I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
