Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I cockslap morals
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize