I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
