White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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