no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
