he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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