I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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