so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
