Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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