I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize