I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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