i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
