I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
