worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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