She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think I sprained my soul last night
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
