Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
