textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So squirting runs in the family.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
