Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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