I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
