Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
