at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My vagina is officially offended.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize