I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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