so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
