She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
