But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
