Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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