He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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