it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
