If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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