I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
