The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
