Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Randomize
