that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
