just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
